As an 18 year old, I began working with adults who had special needs. It was a field I never imagined myself working in, but just happened to fall into to. For those of you who care for someone with special needs, you are aware of the extreme demands that are involved with taking care of them. I never imagined the hard work it was. Assisting them with everything we take advantage of such as bathing, clothing, toilieting, eating, walking, talking, doctors appointments, ensuring they are healthy and take their meds. The list goes on and on. Shortly after I began working with Special Needs people, I knew I had found my calling and wanted to do as much as I could for them.
In 1996, I began my college career as a Social Work student at the University of Cincinnati. My goal was to of course work with individuals with special needs. In 1998, I graduated with an Associates Degree in Social Science at the University of Cincinnati. That same year, I transferred to Northern Kentucky University where I would persue my education in Social Work. This was a very busy and stressful time for me as I worked full time taking care of individuals with special needs, interning part time at a nursing home, and keeping up with the duties of a full-time student. I did this for three years until I finally got my bachelor's degree in Social Work.
After graduating, I did just what my goal was and that was to further my career in the special needs field. I became a supervisor of a small company that provided supports to individuals with Developmental Disabilities. My duties were to ensure staffing and appropriate training for all staff to adequately and safely work with the individuals in their own home. Not only did I know I found my calling but I adored everyone I worked with. I especially fell in love with my clients.
People I spoke to always told me I had a special heart and that they could never take care of someone with extensive needs. One comment I hear a lot, "I never know how to act around someone like that". Well first of all, I don't really see people with Special Needs much different than you or I. They may need more help than others, but hey, don't we all at times. We all have our handicaps whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. As for how to act around someone with Special Needs, I always tell people "It's easy, just be yourself because unlike a lot of people in this world, one thing they don't do is judge you" I don't have to worry about what they are going to think if I don't have my makeup on or my hair done one day. Your loved because of the care and the love that you show towards them.
At the age of 32, I gave birth to my first child, a daughter named Gabrielle Jane. The ironic thing is that three days after she was born we found out she had a rare medical condition called Hydranecephaly. That's right, I gave birth to a daughter with special needs. I must admit it was a very emotional time for me and my family. I was very experienced when it came to caring for someone with extensive needs, but I never dreamed that I would one day have to care for my own child who has special needs.
After we found out our daughter's diagnosis, our life changed so drastically. We were told to never expect much out of our daughter, first of all because she would never make it to one and second of all....she would live the life of a vegetable. She would have no awareness, never know who we are, never hear nor see, and no consciousness. Although, we were told all this by the people we trusted the most (medical doctors), we wanted to take her home with us and to care for her as if she were a typical child. We did just that.
Gabby has been given so much love by so many, many who have never even had the oppurtunity of meeting her yet. She is stimulated daily and loves to play, laugh, and listen to mommy and daddy do silly talk. She loves her family and is very aware of who we are and her surroundings. We will continue to give Gabby all the love in the world and will continue to stimulate the 25% of brain matter she does have.
I must admit that being the parent of a Special Need child is not easy. It is amazing how you can laugh from joy and cry from sadness so many times in one day. I find myself laughing at the funny things my daughter does such as her laughing, making noises, playing with her toys, learning something new, and the numerous funny faces she makes. Then I find myself overwhelmed with sadness that kids younger than my daughter are doing things she should be doing such as walking, talking, running, crawling, eating solid foods, potty training, sucking their thumbs, and the fact that I can't chase my daughter around because she is getting into everything. Then I begin to be thankful for the fact that my daughter is still alive, and in the long run that is all that matters to me. I never realized the emotional roller coaster that never seems to end. The constant struggle with not only keeping your child healthy, but keeping yourself healthy as well. I am so grateful to have met a wonderful group of friends who know all too well what this roller coaster ride is all about. Although, I have wonderful family and friend support, there are just some people who seem to know exactly how you feel and the struggle everyday brings just to keep you sane. I'm going to end with one of my favorite quotes:
You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil ... you are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability." -Lori Borgman
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