Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Mask

She hides her face when she's not alone...She wears a mask, but it's not her own


I'ts everyone else she wants to be

Be just like them Supposedly free


Free from the troubles, the troubles of life

Free from sin and worries and strife


But when night time falls and she climbs into bed

Her mask falls apart and her head fills with dread


She screams and she cries but no one can hear

She wants them to know, know all her fear


Her fear of facing a world with no mask

Afraid they won't like; afraid they won't ask


So she waits for the day with hope in her heart

When she'll wear her own face and make her new start

~Melantha Abraham

Monday, November 8, 2010

A Quick Poem For My Little One

You are so strong in so many ways, you prove it to the world every single day. I'm so proud of the courage you show and I love you more than you'll ever know. A hero to me every single day, im so grateful to you in so many ways.

Love Mommy

Sunday, November 7, 2010

A Life of Unknowns

I am mom to a special need child, diagnosed with a neurological condition, with a prognosis that is quite obscure.  As a parent in general, we find ourselves asking if the decisions we're making are the right ones for our children.  We all fight with the constant struggles that are involved in the daily care we give our children.  My biggest challenge is dealing with the unknowns that are associated with such a grim prognosis.

As a child, I never imagined as an adult that I would have a child with a special need, or yet a child with a terminal diagnosis.  I imagined myself having healthy children and figured my biggest challenges would be if I was raising them to be good human beings with high moral standards.  In reality, I find myself struggling with the constant fears of nothing more than the unknowns. 

In general we all deal with unknowns.  None of us know what our future entails, I can't help but associate the unknowns with my daughters condition.  Wondering if a cough she developed is going to put her life in jeopardy,  or what new symptoms she might develop due to her condition.  Is her brain stem....her only means of survival tiring and at risk for failing.  Then, there is the biggest fear that never leaves my mind.  The fear lurks as an evil shadow watching my every move, that is the fear of my daughter not being here tomorrow. 

I find myself battling with these thoughts daily.  They are fastballs pitched to me way to often and I just want to find a way to hit them out of the ballpark so they will never come back.  Of course I find myself striking out too often.  My goal is to become the winner, I'm going to learn how to hit a so-called homer better than any ball player I know.  I know my goal is going to take a quite a bit of practice and I'm expecting to be hit by a lot of balls.  Not sure who came up with the quote "No pain, No gain" but boy do I believe it to be true.    

Another favorite quote of mine:
          "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -- Robert Brault