Letter From One Grieving Mom To Another

August 23, 2012 I often find myself looking online to find comforting words that may help ease sad moments in my life since losing Gabby. I have found many comforting qoutes, stories, and messages of inspiration that have eased my aching heart. Many of these qoutes, stories, and messages of inspiration, I like to share with some of my other grieving parents, who are also in need of a smile or hope. Below is a letter that I came across from one grieving mother to another. This letter, is a letter that I found so much joy in reading. Not only did it bring me joy, but hope as well. I hope you all enjoy this letter as much as I, and that other grieving mother's or father's may find some comfort as I did. Letter To A Mother That Lost Her Child To Cancer By: Vanishree Written on November 14th, 2010 Hi My story is like each and every one here.I lost my only son on 7 October 2010 he was only 3 years old. A letter from a friends mother-in-law (a person that I did not even know) gave me such hope and support. I'd like to share it with every one and hopefully you take away some comfort. Letter to a mother who lost her child to cancer I do not know you and yet I do know you. As a woman who has lost a child once... I lost a child to cancer. That pain, that shared recognition is the bond that I am speaking about. I understand that the death of one's child is the most unacceptable loss that exists on earth. How can this be? This total imbalance - this reversal of the natural order of things - this removal of that object, that child that one has loved above all things. That you would die for. The greatest sacrifice that God demands of any woman is the life of her child. My daughter Marianthe died of cancer of the liver at the age of 2 years and 2 weeks. This was 42 years ago. You never forget. Your bond only increases. That umbilical cord of love between mother and child stretches from heaven to earth. Forever. Never never to be severed again. Your precious child can never die again. Never suffer again. Try and remember this in these terrible early days of realisation of this impossible loss. You suffer on but your child does not. That child is bathed in heavenly light. Is wonderfully healthy again. Is totally pure in the eyes of God. Great indeed in the eyes of God. That child will never never leave you. He will always look after you and his family. How do you calm the grief of a stricken mother? Nobody can. Not now and not for a long time. But I can promise you that you will heal and with that healing you will find the immense joy of an unbreakable bond with your beloved child. A bond that will endure all the days of your life til you finally hold your child in your arms again. Not just an ordinary child - but a transcended being that totally eclipses who you are as a human being on earth. After Marianthe died I wanted only one thing. To die so that I could join her for evermore. This was not to be my priviledge. Not yet. First I was destined to have more sons, never another daughter and I was happy with this. I never wanted to compare Marianthe to any other daughter. I had to change from the person I was to the person I was going to become. This is what the death of a child does to you. This is the defining moment when you change your life forever. Where you have to dig deep within your heart and soul in order to survive. Where you become greater in charity and compassion and love than you could ever have imagined. Great suffering produces great human beings. This is what God intends us to be. Hard to sustain but it is a long road that will lead you to places and achievements that you would never have dreamed of. It is what you will drive yourself to do in order to overcome your pain. And through this you will heal. In time and gradually. I cannot promise any easy roads to this state where you will one day be. Where you no longer agonise for the sight and sound of your child. All I can say is that I would not wish any of my past, including the loss of Marianthe, to be undone. God loves me and has granted me the most remarkable series of dreams about my daughter. Brought me within sight of her. Even touched her and known that what I saw was immensely greater than myself - this deeply humble creature bowed down at her feet. But with what joy. What thanksgiving. Of knowing that you will be joined at the moment of your death with this waiting child who will have cared for you in countless ways during the course of your life. That child's focus is now entirely on you and will always be. Dont doubt it and above all dont doubt the indescribable joy of your final journey to him. I have waited 42 years and each passing day, month, year brings me one step closer to that incredible reunion. It is the one sure thing that I know. That it will happen. Vaneshree, look through your agony to the huge light and joy that awaits you. Your child is not dead or gone. Merely an invisible barrier that separates you til you are joined again. Grieve, weep, grow - your happiness will return. Be assured of this. God bless you and hold you close. As I do God give us strength