On November 27, 2011, my world was shattered once again as I found out my only brother had passed away. Not only was that event tragic, but what made the whole situation worse was the fact that it happened one day after Gabby's Angelversary. How could I lose my daughter one year earlier, then my brother. Although, I was devestated by my brother's loss and my heart ached deeply, there was one thing that kept entering my mind. My father, has now entered the life of a grieiving parent.
As I wathched my father break down and cry, I was at a loss for words. I knew there were no words that would comfort him or ease his pain. My heart broke for my loss, but it broke more for my father. How can it be that someone like me, who knows the feeling of such a loss, not be able to provide comforting words to my father. I wanted to tell him it would be ok, that he is in a better place, that it gets easier, but I knew that none of those words were of comfort to me as I heard them and still do after one year of losing Gabby. All I could do was hug my father and tell him that I am here for him and that I loved him.
It has been 10 days since my father entered the life of a grieving parent and although he appears to be fine on the outside, I know that on the inside he is filled with so much sorrow and pain. That everytime I look at him, I know what he is thinking. There isn't a second that goes by where Gabby is not in my mind and I know that is the same for my father in regards to my brother.
Lately, it seems as if life has been throwing some very difficult blows. Each blow, seems to knock me down. Although, the blows are hard, I find my way back up and brush myself off. I will not let life keep me down, I will get up, no matter how painful the blow.
